A Service Dog: When Letting Go Brings Fortune

 

Freely came to me at 10 months of age, career changed from a program that trains dogs for people. First she was a beloved pet… then there were hopes for therapy dog work, and following that, at the suggestion of a physician, I started training her for my service dog.

Our owner-training journey was filled with mountain tops and valleys, all holding challenges, frustration, accomplishments and joy. Both of our lives were transformed through Freely’s training. Freely learned to think with enthusiasm and she learned a new association with her one constant tool, the leash. For myself her daily assistance provided so many new opportunities and helped me to transition back into the world of people again and added in a new love and awareness of canines.

Freely has always been very spirited. Energetic and yet patient she always jumps into action for going places, LIFT rides, retrieving and leaping to attention for an alert. She loves the work, especially retrieving and laundry. Much of this is no longer in her best interest for her health and had been a challenge for her.

The past couple of months have been a roller coaster for Freely’s health. Several weeks ago her health started

failing quickly. She’d lie on the floor, follow me with her eyes, and occasionally her tail, thumping on the hardwood floor would be her expression of acknowledging some event that was exciting. We had a final try on increasing some medication, which would be the deciding factor if she would be able to be comfortable enough to have the quality of life that she deserved. Within a couple of days, indeed she did improve and that was both wonderful and difficult. There were many factors to consider regarding what would be the next step to insure that her quality of life remain as high as possible.

Nothing has been more difficult than realizing that I was no longer the person that could provide that quality of life for her. While my mind knows that her wellness comes before all else, my heart was torn with thoughts of not being able to hold my commitment to being her “forever home”. Even more painful was knowing that I could no longer financially provide for her and that us being together was an added stress for her, which was not supportive of her wellness. I knew that the decision had to be based on her wellness and greatest opportunity for a restful retirement. I didn’t want to admit that some of my apprehension in returning her to the program had to do with my own fear of if I could survive without her, if she would be in a situation that she could have trust in some constants.

I contacted the program to let them know and they said they would be back in touch with me in a few days. Sitting down I wrote out all of her cues, her favorite toys, her danger toy zones, health, and documentation on her safe interactions around people and other animals. I knew I wouldn’t be able to control how she would be treated and or where she would be placed. But I did decide I would put down one of the most important things to me on her behalf when came to handling. It’s important that she continue to trust what will happen at the other end of her leash. This is for both her physical and emotional health.

While this decision was so painful at the same time, while I was in the middle of feeling that I had failed her, I realized just how much we had done together. How far we had both come and what we both learned. She’s amazing and it brings me joy to not only have shared our lives together for so long, but to see that I have given her a very full and enjoyable life. This process of letting her go, so that “Freely” could be as “free” as possible, has been heart wrenching, while at the same time she is the being that has given me the life experience to be able to make a decision based beyond my own feelings, beyond my own fears, and to make the decision based upon “her” needs. Even in her leaving, she allows me to experience a success.

I know that I’ve read that when making a decision a person knows to be the best that somehow things work out in ways that are even better than planned or hoped for. Indeed this is the case in the placement of Freely to her new home. Freely has gone to live with her puppy raiser and family. For those of you who may not be aware of her puppy raiser, it was my niece. Yesterday we had a meeting that was so beautiful for both of us, and for Freely.

There is SO much more to this story that is not yet written, that I am committed over this month to write and share more about our journey and we will continue to journal how the transition goes and the gifts of her retirement and re-homing.

Freely started out by helping to build a bridge to my wellness and independence, and now she is building yet another bridge for our family.

Within days after I received the gift of Freely, I read a quote from Mother Teresa,
“As we receive freely we give freely, this is a wonderful gift…..”

That quote was my deciding factor in not renaming her. Freely has been, is and always will be a wonderful gift!

Thank you to all our friends and family and everyone on the journey!
If you haven't read this yet, please read our gratitude page of this Blog!